Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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