Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
