Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
