i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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