Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
