if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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