matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
