Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
