I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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