I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
