And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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