I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
