I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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