Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
