A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
