I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
