I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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