White coat. Heels.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
