Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
