How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
