we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize