I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
