he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i drank out of a bidet.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
