My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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