I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
