just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize