they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
