And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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