I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
it hurts more in the daytime
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
