Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
