I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
