i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
