so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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