I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
