dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
