Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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