In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
