just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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