We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
