she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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