I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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