my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize