Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
True college students do jello shots in the library
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
