He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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