id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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