so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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