3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
