I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
