now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
