I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
