I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
