just tell him i said nine months
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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