what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
pray to the hookup gods
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
