I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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