toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
