Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
