Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
