I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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