Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
