so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
