He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
