It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
