that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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