What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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