Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
