3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
